Inspiration to change - now hold me to it.

Been reading a blog called Ben Does Life and have been inspired.  You can read the blog for yourself (very entertaining by the way) and get the details, but basically, a couple of years ago, a significantly obese Ben made a promise to his grandma.  He promised her that he would lose weight and get healthy - it was her Christmas present.  How charming!

Not one to take the promise lightly, and just tired of being tired and depressed, like a man possessed, he started the year off, changing his diet, working out with daily boot camps (zoiks!), running in increasing more difficult and the pounds just melted away.

Now some may know, that at the end of last year, I had a similar moment of clarity.  No promise to my dearly departed Memaw (coincidentally the same name as Ben's grandma), but a promise to myself to finally get it all together.  I was tired of being tired, thoroughly exhausted from working and mommy-hood, emotionally spent, and always putting myself last.  I was inspired by my hubby who has lost 30 pounds of his own,  while I sat on the couch watching The Biggest Loser.  My well was empty in all sorts of ways.  I was feeling empty inside and wandering dangerously close to feelings I had during my brief bouts with post partum depression.  I did not like it one bit and refused to go down that rabbit hole again.

At 42, (yes I put my age in writing and I am proud of every year of it) I decided I was going to reclaim my life and finally start putting myself first...at least some of the time.  Time for more me, less time as 'all mommy'.  Time to lose weight, be more active, find my emotional and spiritual center, and fill up my well.  Plus, not insignificantly, I wanted to avoid the heart conditions that run on both sides of my family.  My father had a quadruple bypass at age 46, and I was not going to go down that road.  The time to change was now, at least I thought so in November.  Now don't get me wrong, anyone who knows me, knows I am a happy person.  I just know I can be happier.  There is more out there, just beyond my grip and I was ready to reach for it.

You see, since starting my odyssey as a mother 7 years ago, I had gained 30 pounds.  While nothing compared to Ben's weight loss journey, it ain't easy to carry off an extra 30 lbs. on a 5 foot tall frame.  Yup - you heard me, 30 pounds (yes I put it in writing too!).  I was active, but eating poorly and often on the run, so over my muscles were plenty of 'layers of love'.  Yuk.  Good thing my loving hubby isn't into skinny chicks.

Well, since my youngest is getting ready to start kindergarten in the Fall, and after 7 years of putting everyone else first, I decided that 2011 was going to be the Year of Me.  As preparation for this Year of Me, in November 2010, I went to a nutritionist and life coach named Amy Arnold with VitalSelf in my old 'hood of Del Ray.  Thanks Cristy for the recommendation, btw LOVE HER! Mwah!  Amy advised me and gave me tools so I could live my life more healthily and be a happier person.  I did one of her 21 day healthy eating/toxin cleanses and it changed my life.   It helped me to reset my attitude towards healthy food and I lost some weight and felt so much better and more centered and it ended right around the New Year.  The Year of Me had begun!

Then...life and motherhood got in the way again.  I lost my focus.  In the months that followed, I got busier, overbooked myself and the kids, got distracted, started a new job, fell into some bad old habits and my regular exercise appointments fell by the wayside.  Far by the wayside.  Eating on the run started popping up again more often.  Before I knew it, it was several months into the year of me, and I had not progressed at all.  The Year of Me had been seriously sidetracked.

Argh!  I suck!  But I refuse to go back, I am still moving forward, even if it kills me.  Recently reading BenDoesLife's blog which documents his entire path towards a healthy life, I had in idea...I need to go public.  I need to put it out there and let my friends see what I am doing, and let the fear of failing publicly shame me, and make me accountable.  I got that whole Irish/Scottish guilt thing, might as well make it work for me.  If left up to me, and kept in private, I may very well not move forward.  If I have others counting on me, or expecting things from me, I am more inclined to get it in gear.  God Forbid I let someone else down!  My ass is lazy, and when left to my own devices, I let 'exhausted mommy syndrome' win out over my honest desire to get out and exercise.  My poor, long suffering, husband takes his life into his hands often.  You see he is the sole person 'reminding me' to take the higher road and sometimes I just don't like it - so now I welcome the flock of anyone else who is interested in inspiring me to keep moving forward.

So here I declare for all to know...I am renewing my journey towards a healthy body, spirit and mind dang nabbit!  My first public declaration is that I am going to lose 30 pounds, hopefully by the end of the year.  More declarations to follow, but for now.  Eat healthy, do more, lose weight.

Thanks to my hubby and Ben for the inspiration to get back on track.  You guys both rock.  Now, I just need a couple more hours in the day.  :-/