Ahhh, my beloved Carbohydrate, how I love thee!
Warm buttered rolls, noodles, tortillas, bagels, pizza crust, crackers, chips, fluffy rice, sticky rice and the bread...my Lord, the bread - in all its lovely fresh baked forms! I cannot even mention the baked goodies or I might faint from pleasure and anticipation of just a taste of you. Once I get started, I just cannot resist any of you. In so many ways you seduce me and wrap me in your yummy goodness, intoxicating me with your yeasty deliciousness. How I love thee.
But oh carbohydrate! How fickle and hateful you can be!?! Often, the mere scent of you, sets my mouth to watering, and my insulin levels rising, pounds of flesh adding on to my tiny frame before you even pass my lips. What sweet torture. You may very well be the devil.
Well Satan, I am afraid the time has come for me to send you packing. As much as I love you, I can no longer take you and your evil deliciousness. I denounce you in (most, but not quite) all of your forms! After many trials and errors with my food intake, I realize that YOU are the primary culprit keeping me from a healthier lifestyle. When I allow you into my world, I gain weight faster than Roseanne Barr and my energy levels suffer peaks and valleys like a toddler binging on snickers bars and soda.
So I have decided it is time to break up with you. Love you as I do, I need to banish you from my life. I may dally about a bit with your cousin, the Complex Carb, for items like my morning oatmeal, but you, in your simplest - most evil form, must be banished whenever possible from my diet.
Been nice knowing you - we had some good times together. I will always love you, you know. Perhaps on the rare occasion, we may have an occasional tryst, but for now, don't call me, I'll call you.
No comments:
Post a Comment